August 19, 2014

You’ve Got a Friend, Post #44

Who would you say are your true friends?  Who do you go to when you want to laugh, to cry, to celebrate, to confess, to be encouraged, to be your mirror?  Who calls you a true friend?

One of my most cherished blessings in  life are my precious, deep friendships, friends from different phases of my life.  What a blessing it is to keep in touch with friends from high school, college, after college, work friends, church friends, Bible Study Fellowship friends, and friends met through my hobby of writing.

A mantra that has resonated with me since childhood is “To have a friend, you must be one.” All these years, I have tried to be a friend but made mistakes when I wasn’t intentional to strengthen my friendships. Friendships are essential to a healthy life and for growth. It seems the truest friendships are easy, are refreshing, not draining.

Three different groups of dear friends stand out for me to describe for you.  One is a group of 10 beautiful friends from college. All 10 ladies live throughout North and South Carolina, are all married to great men, and have 22 children among the 10 of them. For the last 20 years, we have intentionally set aside the last weekend in April to rent a beach house in Charleston and spend time together, while their sweet husbands keep the children back home. We laugh, eat, tell stories, encourage each other, dance,  sing, cry through difficult times. I learn so much from them. Their influence makes me a better person.

The second group of my friends all met at a church retreat years ago. These six dynamic women are like big sisters who live throughout the Carolinas and Virginia. They are in their 50s or older, have great husbands and adult children.  Like the first group, we are intentional about getting together at least once per year for a weekend together. This past winter we all were together in the North Carolina mountains. As it poured rain outside, we didn’t care. We laughed, ate, told stories, encouraged each other, danced, sang, cried telling about difficult times.   Then in June we were all together again celebrating the beautiful marriage of one of their sons. What a glorious weekend! I learned and learn so much from them. Their influence makes me a better person. 

Recently, I bid farewell to a dear friend who serves our country in the Air Force and is moving to Macon, Georgia. She is part of a group of new, precious Godly friends I met through Bible Study Fellowship. She has such a sweet, soft spoken voice and gentle spirit, which I know I need more of.  God’s love radiates from her. I know distance will not separate our friendship, just as distance hasn’t with the others.   I learn so much from her, from this group of friends. Her influence, their influence makes me a better person. Do you see a pattern?

I encourage you to evaluate your friendships and be intentional about strengthening– fertilizing–those friendships. Look in the mirror, my friend. You are a friend, and remember–you’ve got a friend. In fact, you’ve got many friends, friends who can be your mirror and show you the real you. You are blessed.

Reflect:

–Describe a true friend in the comments below. What do you love about them?

–How can you be more intentional about strengthening your truest friendships?

Renew:

-“…He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” –Proverbs 11:25 NIV84

–“Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” —John 15:13 NIV84

Recharge:

–Pick up the phone and set up a time to rekindle a friendship.

–Pick a weekend before the end of 2014 and call a few of your friends to have a refreshing retreat.

Resource:

–Find a Bible Study Fellowship class near you at www.bsfinternational.org

PS. Today is also a great day to print out my “Creating Your Personal Mission Statement Template,” which is free by simply adding your email address and subscribing to my weekly blog.

My personal mission statement is “Shine,” based on Matthew 5:16.

August 12, 2014

Are You a Ladder or Adder? Post #43

This world is full of choices. I read that the average person makes 1200  choices per day.

Push snooze once more? What to wear? Which shoes? To which radio station do I listen?

Go through the yellow light? Take this leap of faith?

Our attitude is also a huge daily choice we make.

I strive, although imperfectly, for my daily attitude to be positive. Some people may call me a Polyanna, a glass-half-full optimist. I sure strive to be. It comes naturally because my precious mom is a beautiful combination of June Cleaver and Jesus rolled up into one genteel, joyful, encouraging, Southern lady.

My mom once told me that we can choose either to be a ladder or an adder. A ladder is someone who lifts people up, encourages them, and even draws them closer to God. An adder, though, is someone with such a personality, who, like the serpent by the same name, can drain the life out of you. Which are you?

A wonderful example of a ladder I know is Charlie. Charlie Cole is a distinguished, brilliant, handsome man. He retired about five years ago as a dynamic banking executive leader, whose territory covered all of South Carolina. Charlie and his bride of 40+ years, Joanne, go to my church.

In June 2008, Charlie and Joanne returned from a wedding and went upstairs to their bedroom to sleep. In the middle of the night Charlie went to the bathroom and fell down the steps. His fall resulted in paralysis as a quadriplegic, confining him to a wheelchair.

Charlie was immediately airlifted to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, where he and Joanne stayed for three months. They returned to Charleston to their new life in their old world. They came home to their beautiful Sullivan’s Island home, already equipped with an elevator. For more than two years Joanne and Charlie tried to navigate fragmented healthcare resources for spinal cord injury patients. Imagine needing a specialized urologist or OB/GYN because you are paralyzed. Imagine needing a Physical and Occupational Therapist to relearn leg and arm muscles to one day, perhaps, walk and even feed yourself again.

Charlie had served since 2002 on the board of our Roper St. Francis Foundation,  Charleston’s excellent, not-for-profit healthcare system. At the time, Roper St. Francis offered no specialized rehabilitation for spinal cord injury patients nor did the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC). Charlie and Joanne brought awareness to the fact that more than 10,000 spinal cord injury patients live in South Carolina and need better specialized healthcare resources for those who are paralyzed.

Working tirelessly with both Roper St. Francis and MUSC physicians and staff, the Center for Spinal Cord Injury at Roper Hospital was established in June 2011, just three years after Charlie’s injury. As of this writing, more than 300 spinal cord injury patients have been served from all of over the state, since the Center for Spinal Cord Injury is the only collaborative resource of its kind in South Carolina.

I have the pleasure of spending time with Charlie and Joanne weekly as we work together to raise at least $1.5M to endow and sustain the Center for Spinal Cord Injury. Charlie inspires me and everyone he meets. Charlie lives his life intentionally as a tall, tall ladder, not an adder, lifting everyone’s spirits. He turned his “test” into a “testimony” and is truly impacting numerous lives because of it. He brightens every room and heart into which he and his wheelchair roll.

Yes, we have a choice–

To be a victim or a victor of our circumstances.

To be bitter or better because of our circumstances.

To be a Polyanna or a Debby Downer.

To be a ladder or an adder.

The choice is yours.

Reflect:

  • Do you consider yourself to be a ladder or adder? Victim or victor? Bitter or better? Please comment.
  • What language do you use to speak to yourself or others? Does it build up or tear down?

Renew:

  • “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV84
  •  “But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” –Psalm 59:16NIV 84

Recharge:

  •  Name one different choice you plan to make this week toward being a ladder. How will you accomplish it?
  • Please let me know what you decide to do.

Resource:

August 5, 2014

Refining, Shining, or Tarnishing? Post #42

On the first Tuesday of normally the warmest month of the year, it is on my heart to reflect on the warmth, the heat and process of silver refining.  I know it’s random, so please bear with me.

Each day I open my mail with a pretty silver letter opener, given to me years ago by a precious friend. It stays naturally polished, shiny from its daily use and the oil from my hands. Each day when I walk into my office building for work, I notice its naturally polished door handles, also shiny from frequent use.

Then I open my kitchen cabinet and see my ornate silver pitcher, tarnished to black from its sad lack of usage.

It seems this verse from Malachi 3:3 recently keeps surfacing in my life:

“He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver.”

What does refining and purifying silver mean? I heard a story once of a ladies Bible study that asked the same question after reading that verse and wondered how it related to the character and nature of God.  One lady in the class offered to find out the process of refining silver and would report back to the group during the next Bible Study.

The lady called a silversmith and asked if she could watch him work. She made an appointment, not letting him know the reason for her curiosity of learning about the process of refining silver.

She watched the silversmith hold a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained to the lady that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames are the hottest as to burn away all the impurities surfacing to the top. The lady then thought about God holding us in such a hot spot.

She asked the silversmith if he had to sit with the silver the whole time it was being refined. He answered that yes, not only did he sit there holding the silver, but also he kept his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire, scraping off the impurities–the dross– that surfaced. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The lady pondered his statement, then followed up with the inevitable question.

The lady asked, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?”

The silversmith smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy–when I see My image in it.”

What a sweet picture of how God takes such care of us.

I certainly am being warmed by the refiner’s fire in my life right now, having my impurities scraped away. So let’s say we eventually become “refined” this side of heaven, which I’m still not sure we do. What happens then?

I believe we have a choice. 1) We can choose to use our God-given gifts and talents daily and try to shine; or

2) We can remain shiny for a short time, displayed for the world to see, and after lack of usage we become tarnished until we are unrecognizable.

Which are you? Which do you want to be?

As we hunker down for our August warm weather, may you feel the warm glow of the Refiner’s fire.  May you see His reflection in your shiny self. If you feel tarnished today, be encouraged. Polish yourself off and use your gifts and talents to make a difference to someone. You shine!

Reflect:

–What do you relate to more? Refining, shining or tarnishing?  Please comment below by going to “View Comments.”

—-How are you being refined?

Renew:

–“And the words of the Lord are flawless, like silver refined in a furnace of clay, purified seven times.” –Psalm 12:6 NIV84

–“He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver.” –Psalm 66:9, 10 NIV84

–“Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith; remove the wicked from the king’s presence, and his throne will be established through righteousness.” –Proverbs 25:4, 5 NIV84

Recharge:

–In what ways this week can you “polish” yourself more? Is it writing a note of encouragement to a friend?  Inviting your elderly neighbor over to your warm home for some comfort food?  Getting more involved in your Christ-centered church? Joining a Bible study? Please comment below by going to “View Comments.”

« Previous Page
Next Page »