September 16, 2014

How to Handle Life’s Curve Balls, Post #48

What do you do when life throws you a curve ball? Dawn and Chris Carr know how to handle curve balls. They have always been such a precious couple in my life. They met when they were 19 years old at college and were inseparable. We as Dawn’s best college friends knew they would marry.  They married right after college, in 1995.  They epitomize–then and today– a Christ-centered marriage.

For their whole marriage of almost 20 years, Chris awakens daily at 6am to have his quiet time and Bible reading, eats breakfast with his family, then he leaves for work.  They pray together, laugh together, work hard together, and have fun together as a family. Life often seems so perfect in the calm before the curve ball.

Their curve ball came in 2003, when Dawn was 30 years old. While enjoying their two-year-old son Carson and pregnant with their second child,  Dawn was diagnosed with colon cancer. Just typing those words brings tears to my eyes, recalling the shock. How could someone our age have colon cancer, especially Dawn who was pregnant?

A prayerful decision was made to operate. When the growing baby in her womb was five months along, anointed doctors made an incision from her breasts down to her pelvis. The nurses held that baby outside of her body while 13 cancerous inches of her colon was removed, then gently placed the baby miraculously back into her body. Miracles never cease.

The surgery was not the worst of the battle. Her incision down the front of her body had a difficult time healing because, as the baby grew inside of her, her skin and stitches stretched tautly. Dawn could hardly stand up straight because it hurt too much to stretch her healing incision. Not only could she not stand up straight, she also was not supposed to pick up her beautiful two-year-old son Carson.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” became my breath prayer for Dawn, one of my favorite life verses–Philippians 4:13

How did we respond as Dawn’s friends? What did we do? We prayed and rallied around her. We all came to Charlotte, took Dawn out for a spa day with a manicure/pedicure, then rented a hotel suite to have a slumber party. She was real in telling us all the details. We were real to listen. To cry with her. To laugh with her (although it hurt to laugh, she loves to laugh). To hug her. To hear her. To let her know we love her and value her. 

Dawn, Chris, and Carson came to Charleston to visit and stay with me two months later. By this time she was seven months pregnant. I remember us going to Fort Sumter and Dawn trying to push Carson in his baby stroller, and she couldn’t stand up straight. We heard the ferry boat whistle indicating that we needed to get on the boat. Dawn ran like “ET” with baby stroller while Chris ran ahead with our tickets. We laughed so hard. We had so much fun. Dawn laughed through her pain. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.

Dawn delivered baby Zackary on Mother’s Day 2004, the miracle boy. We say he was “born again” on the day he was birthed. Dawn began chemo two weeks after he was born and couldn’t breast feed.  Both Zackary and big brother Carson have hearts of gold. They are good boys, good students, are good role models. I love them as I would my own children.

Dawn and Chris  go on date nights often, and go on “Celebration of Life” cruises each year on the anniversary of her cancer surgery.  They savor every moment. Dawn and Chris are such an inspiration, and their marriage is one of dying to self and living for God, each other, their two sons and others–even when life throws you curve balls.

I had the pleasure of staying at their peaceful home this past Saturday night. They had just come in from son Carson’s 13th fun birthday party held on their local football field. After the boys took showers and got ready for bed, I had the blessing of helping tuck Zackary in bed. So hard to believe he is now 10 years old. I kissed him on the cheek goodnight, told him I loved him and how I thanked God for him.  Miracles, love and prayers never cease, even when life throws curve balls.  The Carr family is living proof.

Christian Broadcasting Network’s “700 Club” featured Dawn and Chris’s story in December 2012. Enjoy their poignant feature video clip now by clicking on the link below.

 The 700 Club–Baby Born Again, featuring Dawn, Chris and Zackary

Reflect:

–Why does it seem sometimes that bad things happen to us? To draw us closer to God?

–Please comment below.

Renew with One of Dawn’s favorite verses:

–“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” –Joshua 1:9

Recharge:

–What can you learn from Dawn, Chris, Carson and Zackary?

Resource:

— http://www.cbn.com/700club/features/amazing/Carrs121206.aspx

September 2, 2014

Making Excuses: The Moses Diagnosis, Post #46

One of my wise supervisors years ago told our non-profit organization’s staff meeting that when we met adversity, we shouldn’t make excuses. That we should instead accept responsibility. Even after Sept. 11, 2001, when the world was in an uproar and the economy was in limbo, we tried not to make excuses. We worked hard to meet our fundraising goals in an adverse climate.

I have remembered that sage advice ever since and thought more about its practical application. In essence, make solutions, not excuses.  It’s not easy to do, though. I’ll give you an example.

Moses is one of my favorite people in the Bible. He was prophet, lawgiver, and dynamic, influential leader.  He was tending sheep with his father-in-law Jethro  when he looked over and saw this ususual flaming bush that would not burn up.

“When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, ‘Moses! Moses!’ And Moses said, ‘Here I am.”  (Exodus 3:4 NIV84)

So God talks with Moses and tells him to bring His people out of Egypt. What do you think Moses said after the dynamite,  pyrotechnic bush display in the sheep field?

Moses starts making excuses!  He asks God basically “why me?”  After God reassures Moses that He will be right there with him, Moses asks, “Who do I say sent me?”– another question of doubt and insecurity.

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.’ This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:14 NIV84).

By this time God probably assumes that Moses is feeling better about his assignment, so God gives him more training on exactly what to say to the Israelites. Nope, Moses isn’t done with his excuses. Moses’ doubting questions, like “What if they don’t believe me?” turn into plain excuses. Here comes my favorite.

“Moses said to the Lord, ‘O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.’ The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.’ But Moses said, ‘O Lord, please send someone else to do it.’

“Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and He said, ‘What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well…I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.’” (Exodus 4:10-14a, 15b NIV84).

Whew. Moses actually had the audacity to tell God to send someone else.  Moses was the king of excuses. Now when I find myself making excuses for something, even without verbalizing it, I call it the “Moses Diagnosis,” and I try to shift toward making solutions.

Moses, of course,  did accept God’s assignments over and over, from leading the Hebrew people out of Egypt to the plains of Moab, across from Canaan; to delivering the 10 Commandments to the people from Mount Sinai; to raising the resources–too many resources– for the Tabernacle.  He was used powerfully by God throughout the Bible as one of the greatest prophets and leaders.

He was close friends with God, which is so sweet. “The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend.” (Exodus 33:11a NIV84).

And toward the end of Moses’ life, it was said of him, “And so Moses finished the work.” (Exodus 40:33b NIV84).

Wow. I so want that—both for the Lord to speak with me as a friend AND for me to finish the work, the assignment laid out for me. What about you?  May it be so in us that we accept and complete our God-given assignments with integrity.

God can use any of us to do His work, even with our insecurities. God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.

Let’s work hard to make solutions, not excuses.

Reflect:

–For what are you making excuses in your life?

–Are you thinking someone else will do the assignment that is given only for you to accomplish?

–Please comment below on what you are thinking/feeling after reading this post on “Making Excuses: The Moses Diagnosis.”

Renew:

–“May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands.” (Prayer of Moses, Psalm 90:17 NIV84).

–“After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves. There he [Jesus] was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became as white as the light. Just then there appeared before them Moses and Elijah, talking with Jesus.” (Matthew 17:1-3 NIV84).

Recharge:

–Let’s all work hard to Make Solutions, Not Excuses.

–If you aren’t part of a Bible-based church, I encourage you to go on Sunday.

–Please open your Bible and feel encouragement from it daily.

August 12, 2014

Are You a Ladder or Adder? Post #43

This world is full of choices. I read that the average person makes 1200  choices per day.

Push snooze once more? What to wear? Which shoes? To which radio station do I listen?

Go through the yellow light? Take this leap of faith?

Our attitude is also a huge daily choice we make.

I strive, although imperfectly, for my daily attitude to be positive. Some people may call me a Polyanna, a glass-half-full optimist. I sure strive to be. It comes naturally because my precious mom is a beautiful combination of June Cleaver and Jesus rolled up into one genteel, joyful, encouraging, Southern lady.

My mom once told me that we can choose either to be a ladder or an adder. A ladder is someone who lifts people up, encourages them, and even draws them closer to God. An adder, though, is someone with such a personality, who, like the serpent by the same name, can drain the life out of you. Which are you?

A wonderful example of a ladder I know is Charlie. Charlie Cole is a distinguished, brilliant, handsome man. He retired about five years ago as a dynamic banking executive leader, whose territory covered all of South Carolina. Charlie and his bride of 40+ years, Joanne, go to my church.

In June 2008, Charlie and Joanne returned from a wedding and went upstairs to their bedroom to sleep. In the middle of the night Charlie went to the bathroom and fell down the steps. His fall resulted in paralysis as a quadriplegic, confining him to a wheelchair.

Charlie was immediately airlifted to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, where he and Joanne stayed for three months. They returned to Charleston to their new life in their old world. They came home to their beautiful Sullivan’s Island home, already equipped with an elevator. For more than two years Joanne and Charlie tried to navigate fragmented healthcare resources for spinal cord injury patients. Imagine needing a specialized urologist or OB/GYN because you are paralyzed. Imagine needing a Physical and Occupational Therapist to relearn leg and arm muscles to one day, perhaps, walk and even feed yourself again.

Charlie had served since 2002 on the board of our Roper St. Francis Foundation,  Charleston’s excellent, not-for-profit healthcare system. At the time, Roper St. Francis offered no specialized rehabilitation for spinal cord injury patients nor did the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC). Charlie and Joanne brought awareness to the fact that more than 10,000 spinal cord injury patients live in South Carolina and need better specialized healthcare resources for those who are paralyzed.

Working tirelessly with both Roper St. Francis and MUSC physicians and staff, the Center for Spinal Cord Injury at Roper Hospital was established in June 2011, just three years after Charlie’s injury. As of this writing, more than 300 spinal cord injury patients have been served from all of over the state, since the Center for Spinal Cord Injury is the only collaborative resource of its kind in South Carolina.

I have the pleasure of spending time with Charlie and Joanne weekly as we work together to raise at least $1.5M to endow and sustain the Center for Spinal Cord Injury. Charlie inspires me and everyone he meets. Charlie lives his life intentionally as a tall, tall ladder, not an adder, lifting everyone’s spirits. He turned his “test” into a “testimony” and is truly impacting numerous lives because of it. He brightens every room and heart into which he and his wheelchair roll.

Yes, we have a choice–

To be a victim or a victor of our circumstances.

To be bitter or better because of our circumstances.

To be a Polyanna or a Debby Downer.

To be a ladder or an adder.

The choice is yours.

Reflect:

  • Do you consider yourself to be a ladder or adder? Victim or victor? Bitter or better? Please comment.
  • What language do you use to speak to yourself or others? Does it build up or tear down?

Renew:

  • “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” –1 Thessalonians 5:11 NIV84
  •  “But I will sing of Your strength, in the morning I will sing of Your love; for You are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” –Psalm 59:16NIV 84

Recharge:

  •  Name one different choice you plan to make this week toward being a ladder. How will you accomplish it?
  • Please let me know what you decide to do.

Resource:

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