Grace For the Recovering Perfectionist

I am a recovering perfectionist. I admit it. What do you think is the difference between perfection, striving for excellence, and doing your best?

When I was a little girl, I organized all my crayons by the rainbow-color acronym name—remember it? R-O-Y- G-  B-I-V (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet).  I kept them organized, even if it was a box of 64 crayons. Yes, coloring inside the lines was a must. I was a born perfectionist.

Bless my sweet parents. I was harder on myself than they ever were on me.

All these years later, I still struggle with perfectionism in some areas of my life.  But who holds the measuring stick to decide what “perfect” is? Your “perfect” is different from my “perfect.” The only true measuring stick for perfection is Jesus, and nowhere this side of heaven will I, will we reach the beautiful perfection of Jesus.

I remember one role model in my career taught me this pithy poem:

Good, better, best, And may we never rest,                                                                                                                                                       Until our good is better, And our better, best.

That’s when it hit me: my best is not perfection. And that’s OK.

When I get up each morning, every fiber of my being strives for excellence. Then life happens…traffic is at a standstill, and I’m late for work; a long-anticipated meeting is rescheduled at the last minute; miscommunication occurs with a loved one; reality falls short of expectations.

One of my favorite verses is five words: “She did what she could… Mark 14:8a  NIV.  Don’t you love it? Maybe I should have that on my epitaph!  What grace! It sure makes me exhale.

To set up the scene, Jesus was visiting the home of Simon the Leper. Mary, sister of Martha and Lazarus, brought in an expensive alabaster jar full of pure nard, which is costly perfume. She took it, broke it, and poured it all on Jesus. Some of Jesus’ disciples ridiculed her for wasting more than a year’s wages of perfume on Jesus instead of giving it to the poor. Jesus told them to leave her alone and said it was a beautiful thing that she did. He told them He would not always be around and this poured perfume was preparing him for his burial. Jesus was trying to tell them he would soon die.

Mary did what she could. It may not have been “perfect” or even “excellent” in the sight of the disciples. She gave it her all.

Dear friends, there is grace for those of us recovering from perfectionism. Keep doing your best, and react with grace knowing obstacles will come into your divine path. Be encouraged. You are making a difference.

Relax. Breathe deeply.  Exhale. Laugh. His grace is sufficient for you and for me. Feel free to color outside the lines sometimes.

Reflect:

–What are some ways you are a recovering perfectionist like me? Please comment.

-What grace can you give yourself or a loved one who struggles with perfectionism?

–How can you make sure your heart is in all your work? Please leave a comment and let me know.

Renew:

–“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” –2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

–“Finally, brothers, good-by. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.” –2 Corinthians 13:11 NIV.

–“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” –Galatians 1:10 NIV

Resource:

PS. Today is also a great day to print out my “Creating Your Personal Mission Statement Template,” which is free by simply adding your email address and subscribing to this little leap-of-faith “Pure Inspiration” blog.

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Comments

  1. As I go back to school today, I really needed this! Thank you Danya!

  2. Wow!! Another wonderful message I needed to hear. Thanks my dear friend!!! I love you!

  3. NARD! You go, girl! Love, Frank N(o) Sense!