You’ve Got a Friend, Post #11

Who would you say are your true friends?  Who do you go to when you want to laugh, to cry, to celebrate, to confess, to be encouraged, to be your mirror?  Who calls you a true friend?

One of my most cherished blessings in  life are my wonderful, deep friendships, friends from different phases of my life.  I still keep in touch with friends from high school, college, after college, work friends, church friends, and friends met recently through Bible Study Fellowship.

A mantra that has resonated with me since childhood is “To have a friend, you must be one.” All these years, I have tried to be a friend but made mistakes when I wasn’t intentional to strengthen my friendships. Friendships are essential to a healthy life and for growth. It seems the truest friendships are easy, are refreshing, not draining.

Three different groups of dear friends stand out for me to describe for you.  One is a group of 10 beautiful friends from college. All 10 ladies live throughout North and South Carolina, are all married to great men, and have 22 children among the 10 of them. For the last 19 years, we have intentionally set aside the last weekend in April to rent a beach house in Charleston and spend time together, while their sweet husbands keep the children back home. We laugh, eat, tell stories, encourage each other, dance,  sing, cry through difficult times. I learn so much from them. Their influence makes me a better person.

The second group of my friends all met at a church retreat years ago. These six dynamic women are like big sisters who live throughout the Carolinas and Virginia. They are in their 50s or older, have great husbands and adult children.  Like the first group, we are intentional about getting together at least once per year for a weekend together. This past weekend,  we all were together in the North Carolina mountains. As it poured rain outside, we didn’t care. We laughed, ate, told stories, encouraged each other, danced, sang, cried telling about difficult times. What a glorious weekend! I learned and learn so much from them. Their influence makes me a better person. 

Yesterday I bid farewell to a dear friend who serves our country in the Air Force and is moving to Macon, Georgia. She is part of a group of new, precious Godly friends I met through Bible Study Fellowship. She has such a sweet, soft spoken voice and gentle spirit, which I know I need more of.  God’s love radiates from her. I know distance will not separate our friendship, just as distance hasn’t with the others.   I learn so much from her, from this group of friends. Her influence, their influence makes me a better person. Do you see a pattern?

I encourage you to evaluate your friendships and be intentional about strengthening– fertilizing–those friendships. Look in the mirror, my friend. You are a friend, and remember–you’ve got a friend. In fact, you’ve got many friends, friends who can be your mirror and show you the real you. You are blessed.


–Describe a true friend in the comments below. What do you love about them?

–How can you be more intentional about strengthening your truest friendships?


-“…He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” –Proverbs 11:25

–“Greater love has no one that this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” —John 15:13


–Pick up the phone and set up a time to rekindle a friendship.

–Pick a weekend in 2014 and call a few of your friends to have a refreshing retreat.


–Find a Bible Study Fellowship class near you at

PS. Today is also a great day to print out my “Creating Your Personal Mission Statement Template,” which is free by simply adding your email address and subscribing to my weekly blog.  My personal mission statement is “Shine,” based on Matthew 5;16.

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  1. Teresa Tarrant says:

    You encourage me! Just thinking of you makes me smile ! Love you, Teresa

    • Precious Teresa, thank you for your encouraging words, like a Balm of Gilead to my soul. You are beautiful inside and out. Praying for your safe mission trip to and from Haiti. Keep shining! I love you!

  2. This just cheered me up. Miss you friend!

  3. I am so honored to call you cousin. I have watch you grow from an infant, so loved not only by your parents but everyone,, into an amazing woman, Your path has had many stumbling stones along the way but you used your faith in our Heavenly Father to move those stones and inspired others to “Let Our Light” shine. My light has been dimmed for many reasons but then I see you and that beautiful smiling face shining so bright makes me sing…..This little light of mine I’m going to let it shine, this little light of mine I’m going to let shine, this little light of mine I’m going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. You are truly a woman of God and such an inspiration to so many. I am so proud of you and your accomplishments. Love you, Danya

    • Dear Cousin Judy, Your precious blog comment made me cry. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such Spirit-filled anointed words. God uses you mightily.
      You are a true inspiration. Keep dancing! Keep singing! Keep shining! I love you!

  4. Girlfriends (real girlfriends) are one of life’s greatest treasures–just this evening I had need to be filled–I’m in FL for the winter–a young mother and child left Riley Hospital.anf found their vehicle disabled with no money(.) I phoned one person who took them to a safe place for the night,another who repaired the car, another who picked them up and returned them to a home where they belong. I Thank GOD for each of them. Oh,by the way everyone but me are in Indiana.

    • Thank you so much for your inspiring reply, Cathy/Tutu. I’m so proud of how the Lord works mightily through you. Runs in the family. Your little sister Mary, Myrrh, is one of my dearest friends. I look forward to meeting you someday.

  5. thank you Danya for sharing your wise wisdom with all of us! this blog brought to mind the “seasons” of friends: the ones who are lifetime friends, several years of friends, even just months of friends. All of these friendships are precious to me. I am grateful for them all. It boils down to relationships of love, just one of the many blessings our sweet Prince gives so freely! you are loved Danya! miss you

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